So Prince's Dead, Now What?
by Noip13
Summary: Prince finally defeated the Dictator of Life. Great! But what's going to happen now? How will she handle the Gui dilemma, and what about the mess Central Continent is in? I've been with Prince since the beginning, and I don't plan on abandoning her now! So, sit back and enjoy the show. Discontinued
1. Chapter 1

_So Prince is Dead. Now What? (Seriously, people, what's going to happen?)_

**Dear Lord, is this seriously a fanfic that I'M writing? Aaaahhh, so excited…Yay! I hope you all enjoy my very first fanfic. Stick with me if you like the idea, but not the way I write it, because I will improve, or my name isn't Little Dragon Girl! BTW, I am LDG as Lolidragon's original name. Anyway…REVIEW! I accept criticism and compliments of all kinds (but I like constructive best) and tell me what you think.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Half Prince at all. Not even a little bit. WHY CAN'T I OWN IT? WHY WON'T THEY RESPOND TO THE 4000 LETTERS I WROTE THEM! Why was I born? I'm going to cry in the corner now…

**Oh yeah, this was written from Lolidragon's point of view. I mean, she's the only character who's aware of almost everything that goes on (like Prince's secret, but unlike Prince, she's not totally oblivious to anything that's not blood or eating)…and she's evil (or at least I think she is-man, evil characters are fun to write for)…and who doesn't want to know what goes on inside of that head of hers? Of course, going into her head requires some special precaution, like a large, hefty frying pan to defend yourself with-a la DBZ-nerves of steel (actually, diamond might work better) and preparation for years of intensive and extraordinarily overpriced and expensive therapy. Everyone ready? Good! Let's go!**

As I watched, Prince leaped forward. Red eyes flashing, he drove the Black Dao in his hand through the heart of the Dictator of Life as he activated the special program I'd written. I can't believe this is happening, that this is where the legend ends- the one we'd said we'd create together. "…Not the wives of the strongest players. We will be the strongest players." As this ran through my mind, as I watched the powerful, proud figure activate the program and it charge through the dao in a burst of light, I couldn't help but think of his secret. No. Her secret. And the day it all began…

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It all started one day during summer vacation…for those who go to school. I, however, am apparently getting A JOB! _I'm going to kill you, father. Damn you for making kicking me out of the house and making necessary for me to become a f****g Hidden GM! For the last time, I really didn't see how much that doll set I bought for the heck of it- despite the fact that I am 15 years too old to play with dolls- costs $1,000,000? That's not too bad, is it? Or that diamond jewelry set was just a little pricey? Or those Chanel gowns might cost a bit too much? Like we can't afford it, since you, my dad, is the president of the soon- to- be-huge Second Life? Wasn't it a little overboard too cut off my credit cards and make me get a job?_** (AN: The first person who can tell me where I took the credit card cutting and job getting from will get an oneshot story of their choice written by me. I challenge youuuuu! That's how sure I am no one will get it.) **_Dad, I will get you for this even if it kills me, _I thought as I entered the character setting up room where I would help people design their characters. _Mwa-ha-ha-ha-huh?_

A bright white light had popped up in the center of the room, and from it had fallen a person, who I examined in confusion. The game hadn't officially launched yet, and wasn't supposed to for another few minutes. It was only later I found out the truth…The girl sprawled out on the floor had set her clock five minutes early so she'd never be late for appointments and had forgotten…(sweatdrop)

Anyway, the girl stood up. She was rather pretty, with big dark eyes, medium length thick dark hair, and a sweet face. However, she was nothing compared to a super ultra-beauty such as myself (and anyway, her looks were not as maturely beautiful as mine, just little-girl-cutie). Well, looks like mine don't bless everyone. I'd could say I pity the girls that aren't as beautiful as myself…but then I'd be lying. Heh heh heh…

So the girl asks to see herself as a beastman and a human. _Probably going for a physical class. Weird. Most girls shoot for a class that uses magic or speed, not strength._ And just when I was certain the girl wanted to be a human (I mean, the beastman was hideous) she said something seriously weird. Had I heard her right?

"You want to be a GUY?" I asked, my voice rising incredulously. She nodded.

"But- I mean- You DO know that people will want to help you and protect you if you're a girl. Leveling up, getting items, gaining fame…Everything will be a lot easier if you're a girl." Oops. Apparently, wrong thing to say. Her big round eyes narrowed. She was seriously pissed.

"A damn NPC like you shouldn't care. Just do it!" she hissed.

Why the heck did she think I was a NPC? LOOK, PEOPLE. Just because someone in a game is an unearthly beauty and has a very stiff expression doesn't mean she's an NPC. _This girl's in for a surprise. _

"Okay, so I'll just ask my superiors if that's allowed, since gender changes usually aren't. _That showed you! Oh, that look on your face when you realized I wasn't a NPC was priceless. _A minute later, I came back from my conference and told her the facts.

"Usually, gender changes aren't allowed, but since you were the first player to ever log on, they're gonna make an exception. So, let's go! Do you want to be 30% beautified or uglified?" She chose beautified (duh). And after I made the change, she asked to be seen as an elf. Why? Because elves are hotter than humans. And why would she care about looks. One word: BISHIE!

The elf was of medium height and had a swordsman's build: Narrow hips and broad shoulders. He was slim and had shaggy silver hair and large, gleaming red eyes. And his features were so noble yet delicate, he made my heart skip. _Eye candy…oh….ah….so pretty…_

"If you want to get a sex change, I'll be your girlfriend," I couldn't help saying before plunging into a deep debate over the character. She wanted to be a warrior, so she thought she couldn't be an elf._ Ha! Don't you know that it's illegal not to be that handsome if given the chance? You want to be a warrior? Go to HFIL! You are NOT denying me-I mean, all the ladies of Second Life- such eye candy. _So I forced- um, convinced- her to stay as an elf with the same exact features. Then we set about designing her character. _You have zero style sense. That's it! I'm going to design your eye candy- I mean character. Stop arguing! You should be happy to have a girl with such wonderful style sense designing your bishie- I mean character. _Finally, I got it into her pretty little head that I was the one calling the shots (Only took 2 hours!). Only one thing remained.

"What should the name be?"

"XXX."

No way. She wasn't using that name. I can't even think it; it kills me so to think of such a perfectly designed character- courtesy of _moi,_ of course- using such a hideous, ridiculous name. So I- I mean, we- shortened it to Prince. And sent her (after telling the cutie to PM me, obviously) to the Central Continent. Next, after designing about fifty characters (all less interesting than Prince) for various people, I set about designing my own character. I was going to be a Hidden GM, and I was going to dominate Second Life, with Prince, the ultimate bishie by my side. Therefore, I had to be every bit as beautiful as Prince was handsome, so I could stand next to Prince rightfully…and intimidate all the girls who were going to chase after him in very cruel, self-esteem destroying way (for them). _He he he…._

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I snapped back to reality as Prince, the rest of Odd Squad, and I walked out of the huge Temple of the Dictator of Life. Walking out onto the lawn with the rest of us trailing slightly behind, Prince sheathed her beloved dao with a single fluid motion. A pang hit my heart as I realized that was the last time she'd ever use that magnificent, powerful sword. _And she knows it. I can see it in her face._ Our army hadn't gone to the temple with us, as Prince had insisted, so they were camped in a clearing a few minutes away.

Prince then spoke. "Well, you guys all know I'm going to disappear in a few minutes. I have a plan of how things should play out. Lolidragon has all the details. Don't blame her or try to press her for more than she'll say; she's being a saint for taking this role in the first place." I blushed.

Prince walked up to me. "Thanks for everything. I owe you big time…or I would, if you hadn't shamelessly tried to do some pretty insane stuff to me," I almost giggled and fell into our routine of bickering, but didn't. "Please tell Odd Squad what we agreed."

"Okay," was all I could say. He went down the line, saying goodbyes to those he'd been closest to. Meatbun, Kenshin, Sunshine, Nan Gong Zui, Fairsky, Wicked, Ice Phoenix, Gui, Wolf, Yu Lian, and White Rose he all whispered something to. When he arrived at Doll, after whispering something to her, he kissed her.

**Fanfic-first chapter-COMPLETE! (Bad, overly dramatic pose struck, like in Pokémon, or DBZ's Ginyu Force-or the "Great" Saiyaman. I die a little every time I see him on screen.) And with over 1500 words! I hope you all continue to read me. Things might not be what they appear…would Prince really kiss Doll? Maybe Lolidragon's hallucinating, maybe not, maybe something is amiss…This will probably get released once every week or 2, since I'm planning on starting a Dragon Ball Z fanfic, and will keep it going at the same time as this. Check it out once it's posted. AND REVIEW! If you don't like the flashback structure, I'm going to be doing a lot of it, so tell me and I'll change it if enough people do. **

**Thanks to my beta chicaalterego! Be sure to check out her profile for lots of great Sun Knight and Half Prince stories.**


	2. Chapter 2

_So Prince Is Dead. Now What? (Apparently, a DollXPrince relationship. Mouth's falling open in shock, anyone? What? No takers? Awww...)_

**Last time on….nah, I'm not going to put you through that. So, Prince is kissing Doll? WHAT. THE. HECK. DollXPrince. Did not see that coming. So, is this really happening? Let's see…**

**Oh, and I want to thank the people who reviewed and favorited me and my story. It means a lot to me. I'm sorry it took so long for me to start writing, but I'll do better next time. However, YOU are the reason I got off my butt, got back onto it, and started typing! I don't get writer's block; I get writer's laziness (I lose the will to type). I'm not kidding. Therefore, more people review and favorite my story= faster it's released. (coughcoughhackSO REMEMBER TO REVIEW FOR GOD'S SAKE, REVIEWS ARE MY LIFEBLOODcoughhackcough) Everyone get that real subtle hint? Great! So without further ado…**

**Actually, one more thing. Lolidragon will seem a bit OOC in this chapter. I want to give some depth to her, and maybe give some insight on why she is the way she is. I'm not sure what kind of person her dad will be, but him being a famous executive and having to deal with the pressure probably wouldn't be easy. Everyone would be expecting you to be perfect, and I'm not that pretty, so I can't say for sure, but I think it would screw you up to be so beautiful and have even more expectations.**

Wait. Hold on. The angle I'm looking at Doll from is making it look like he's kissing her on the lips, not the forehead. _Am I disappointed or happy? _I mused_. I mean, I would have never expected Prince to fall in love with Doll (if she had). S**t. That would have made for a really funny, interesting story.__Oh well, I had fun with that fascinating love triangle (that I was, most unfairly, not a part of) to watch. Gui-Xiao Lan/Prince-Wicked. Who will get the girl? No one, apparently. Actually, Wicked has a chance since he knows Prince in real life, so maybe him. Seriously though, why the heck do they ignore the ultra hottie and go after HER? She's not bad, but even as, Prince, she's still not ME…_

As I considered this dilemma, Prince finished saying goodbye with a manly clap on the back (man, she was getting good with this manly stuff, really ironic that it's just in time to not be necessary) to Wolf. Now done, she walked back to the front of all of us.

"So, ummm…I guess time's up for me. I really had a great time with everyone. At times, you were very cruel, and some of you were downright evil"-wait, why is he looking at me? Seriously, is there something on my face? -"but I still had a great time. I'm gonna to miss all of you. Well, those I don't see daily." Slick. THAT sure didn't make some of the people standing who don't know what you're talking about look like-well…let's just say that IS possible for someone to have their jaw dropped down to their waist. Who knew? "So, just thanks for all the fun, and I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused. I hope I'll see all of you again someday. Bye!"

The idiot sounded more like she was leaving for a few days than forever. Whatever, it's her business on how she wants to leave. And leave she did.

What had I expected, a flash of light? Her growing wings and a halo (or, possibly, horns and a tail-for such horrible treatment of animals via crimes against food comes punishment at last!) and flying to the heavens, and being burnt to a crisp by the sun or dying of too little air? She was there one minute, and then…wasn't. A fitting end for a fictional character that never even existed, I suppose. **(AN: It's Magister Sensei Negima's Chisame speaking. That girl's got some messed up views of reality and fantasy.)**

Weird. Was it raining? Water was trickling down my cheeks. I wasn't crying, I hoped. Crying is childish and embarrassing, and shows weakness- all of which goes against how I like to act.

Oh well, it was probably a glitch.

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The second time I saw Prince, I was beating her half to death. She hadn't PMed me, and it had taken me forever to track her down. Worse, she was wearing a mask to cover half of that perfect face. "HOW DARE YOU! NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT PM ME, YOU GO SO FAR AS TO OBSTRUCT SOMEONE FROM OBSERVING THE FACE THE GREAT LOLIDRAGON HERSELF SLAVED OVER TO MAKE PERFECT! I WILL KILL YOU!" Just before I stomped her to death, however, I remembered the reason I had sought her out in the first place. _Oh yeah…I can't really kill her, can I? Shoot. She deserves it. Maybe after she has more levels, so it won't matter as much if she loses a few, I can casually push Prince in front of a boss monster "accidently on purpose." Yeah, that'll work! That's what I'll do! _Calming down with my decision, I stepped back. I was even kind enough to give a health potion to the bloody pile of flesh lying on the floor. _I'm such a good person. Better make that TWO "accidents", or I'll lose my touch. _As

she started to recover, I stepped back.

"What. The. Heck. Did. You. Do. That. For?" she asked angrily.

"That's for not PMing me. I TOLD you to. Took me forever to track you down. And you were hiding from the girls via that mask, I suppose. A prince? Hah. You're a wimp. You will pay for hiding and not contacting me. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But someday. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha." _She looks scared…She really is a wimp, isn't she? I am kinda scary, but I've only given people nervous breakdowns, what, sixty times in the last few years? I still don't get why that one robber took one look at my glare, dropped the money, and ran like HFIL. Ah well, life's full of these little mysteries. _"Anyway, let's get going."

"Why? What for?"

"To train, idiot. We're going to be a team, right? So how else are we supposed to level?" Prince sweatdropped.

" Ummm… I never agreed to join any team."

"You're point?"

"Don't I get a say in this?"

"No. Let's get going."

"…"

Once we were outside the elf beginner village we'd been talking in-and away fwom the beeg skawy giwls-and into an area some low level wolves inhabited, she finally was brave enough to take off her mask. I mean, I had to rip it off her face, yeah, but same diff. Anyway, ahhhh…_So gorgeous. My eyes are turning into hearts, which is probably a serious medical condition, but I don't care._ When I was done, I gave her a mirror, and her eyes hearted, too. _What's this called? Heartitis? Eyeartness? Heart eye syndrome (HES for short)? Maybe we shouldn't release Prince to the general female population after all; who knows what could happen. Oh well, if I'm around him enough, I'll be desensitized, and all the other girls can go to HFIL, for all I care. _

Once we were done, we started training. Wow this kid knew nothing about Second Life. _I know she's almost my age, but she acts so childish, I can't help calling her a kid…Anyway, did she even prepare a little? Ever get it into her that HOT HOT-focus, girl, focus-head that she didn't have to be a warrior?_ The baka had never even considered the class with the brightest future: A thief! Oh well, more money for me. So after showing him the sneaky, fast, aiming-for-vitals way I attacked, I asked her to slice and dice a wolf for me to show me her stuff. Well, that's not what I said actually, but considering what happened after I set her loose on those poor, poor wolves-

"Um, Prince, what's up with that fighting style?" I asked as she chopped the wolves to pieces, using kicks, jumps, and anything handy to supplement her fighting style. I winced as she did a particularly heavy swing. _Never felt sorry for a wolf before. Ouch. Well, now I _

_know why she's using a Dao as her weapon; she looks like she's cooking giant domestic animals. _

"What's wrong with it?" she asked innocently. _How the HFIL can she look so innocent after slaughtering a group of defenseless young wolves?_

"Well, it's just kinda…different…than most people…" Then it hit me. Duh! It's because she plays weirdly and differently, not fighting at all the "proper" warrior's way to fight, that she's so good. THIS is how you play a 99% virtual reality game to the fullest. "Never mind; it's perfect! Show me some of those moves, will you?" Soon, we had a real racket going, making up amazing-and weird- move after move. When we tried to test them out on some wolves, though, one of them turned into the Wolf King! We only defeated it because of Prince's genius idea to stab at its unprotected eyes and finished it with his Inferno Slash. From the battle we gained two notable things (the others were minor). One was the egg that would hatch into a living meat bun: Meatbun-who'd become the most powerful Second Life pet. She was gonna give him to me, but then I recounted my pet history. The turtle. The fish. That poor cactus. I didn't even mention the other failures. So no Meatbun for me. Thank god. I don't think my conscious-it DOES exist, contrary to popular belief- could take another murder. Anyway, the other was the knowledge that Prince's Black Dao was a growing type weapon. _She. Is. A. F****g. Idiot. She "didn't notice" that her weapon leveled when she did. That's it, it's officially three_ _times under a random angry boss. _

Later, after relaxing from a hard workout of fighting on a cliff, Prince started singing "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. Why? She felt like it.

It hit me. She's singing because she wants to, not because her dad's making her. Not because she wants all those famous executives and their wives-god, how I hate their vain, plump, giggling wives-to coo over how pretty she is. Not because he's doing exactly what everyone's telling her to.

I know why the caged bird sings. Because until it's free, singing is good enough.Prince is singing, starting to break free from what people say she can do, what can be done. It's my turn.

"Prince, let's make a promise. We're not going to be the wives of the best players, we're going to be the best players! Let's make the first Second Life legend- the legend of Prince."

I didn't need to have a legend the way she needed to. I only needed to be free of the world I was born into, the luxury, the ease, the stifling expectations.

Legend begin.

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Legend end. It was all over. I stood in front of the army, and they gradually quieted. Prince would have shut them up in a millisecond without a word. But my dominant thought wasn't that. It was this:

_How am I supposed to tell these people there hero's gone forever?_

I'd hate Xiao Lan for leaving me this impossible task, if it weren't for the fact that the person who will be hurt the most by Prince's disappearance is her. So I clear my throat. This is my responsibility. I can do this.

"Hello, everyone."

Instantly, I was bombarded with questions. We won, right? Everyone was okay? The dictator was really gone forever? Where was Prince? Where was Prince? Where was Prince?

My throat burned. My head hurt. I just wanted to curl up and- I don't know. But I'd rather be anywhere but here.

"Prince isn't with us anymore," I say as loudly and steadily as I could.

There's a chorus of gasps. S**t, could I have phrased it any worse?

"NO! He's not dead!" I shout over everyone. "Look, there was only one way to kill the Dictator of Life for good. We created a special program to cancel him forever. But there was a…flaw. The person who activated the program had to have the same thing happen to them. Prince volunteered. "

There, I'd said it. What would happen now?

**Please don't kill me for what I did with Doll and Prince; it's my evil writer side. Born of way too many cliff hangers from other evil writers. Besides, it was pretty funny. I wanted to give it a more dramatic ending, but I couldn't decide how. Besides, I think the fact that it's just a mis-seeing (is that even a word?) is pretty funny in itself.**

**My computer crashed, which is why it took me a while to get this out. For more details, please check my profile.**

**Our dear Loli's getting her her's and him's mixed up, isn't she? I was trying to show how hard it is to remember it's a girl she's speaking to. Also, this gives me a free pass to not get criticized for any mixing of uppings for himmings and herrings (ha, herring) I have. Wahoo! Anyway, you can probably tell, but I'm not following the novel or manhwa word for word. Don't worry; I'm not going to screw too badly with anything, just some dialogue and characters so it'll work better for this. As you can also tell, this will be stuffed to the gills with jokes. There's plot, yeah, but writing jokes in this is fun, too. It's a comedy, I suppose. Whenever I start writing this, I get in my "funny zone" and the jokes flow. But one person has their limits. Send me your funny ideas, please! I'll work them in if I can, and give you credit (of course). I'll repeat this notice in every chapter. See you soon. Well, hopefully. If Miss **_**Little Dragon Girl **_**can get off her**_** Little Dragon Butt**_** and type some **_**Little Dragon Stories**_**! **

**I'm random. **

****

**Where the heck did that come from?**


	3. Chapter 3

_So Prince's Dead, Now What? (Well, first of all, he left a HFIL of a lot of cleanup to do.)_

**One word: Flashdrives. Those suckers are SO easy to lose, and lost mine twice. In one month. And I almost lost mine another time…I think my flashdrive hates me…**

**Anyway, of course, when I finally gave up on ever seeing it again and losing a ton of fanfic files I had stored on there, I found it the next morning, just as I was about to take the empty flashdrive that I was going to start working on and put it in my bag. It was in my bag.**

**Go figure.**

**Also, I might be a little late with the next one. I'm about to lose easy computer access. Again. So brave with me, loyal readers, and enjoy!**

**Demon654: If you don't like my portrayal of the characters, or my plot, or my writing style, that's okay. But please tell me what you don't like about it, so I can improve. I hope you see this and PM or review with what you were trying to say. **

Their eyes stared at me, boring into me. I could feel them drilling into my brain, looking at secrets that were better off hidden…

I shook my head a little and snapped out of it. They can't read my mind. Or at least that's what I repeated like a mantra as I started to explain the parts of the story I was allowed to divulge. _They can't read my mind. They can't read my mind. They can't read my mind…_

"It was Prince's choice. He had personal reasons to make it. We all owe him our gratitude for it. However, he has decided to disappear into the real world, once again, for personal reasons. He told me he doesn't plan on telling the world his identity for a long time, probably not ever. He asks that you choose a new Lord of Central Continent and enjoy what we all fought to protect."

With that, I nodded and stepped off the stage, leaving behind me stunned silence.

Walking over to XiMen Feng, I asked him gently- he had been a sort of companion for Prince, as Prince had liked there was someone in Second Life in the same situation as him- "Do you think An Rui will answer your call to take us home?"

With a guarded look on the pretty girl's face, he said, "He'll probably come, girly, but I might have ta' cut a deal with him to get us to Central Continent. But I think we should stay here a night, ta' give everyone a chance to…settle, Lolidragon."

Looking around, I saw he was right. Everyone- even the ones who hadn't known Prince, or lived on a different continent- was sitting in groups, crying, and conversing in whispers and mumbles. Everyone was aware a legend had ended, and was also worried about what was going to happen now to Central Continent, and Second Life in general. The Dictator had been killed, but now we would have to deal with the war's aftermath, which might be even deadlier than the actual war. The wails of fangirls were practically a symphony. We had to give them some time to recover.

"Tell me, did that bastard really say all that to you?"

I turned back to XiMen. _Guess he's talking about Prince._ I wondered if any of the people in the crowd thought I was making up what I'd said about what Prince wanted. _Oh s**t. If any of them think I'm lying, or trying to claim the throne or something, who knows what kind of trouble they could stir up? I don't want to be leader of the CC- job's WAY too boring, too much work, and I would be following in PRINCE'S footsteps (shudder), but it could look that way._

"Yeah, he did. For…circumstantial reasons, I was the only one privy to the information necessary to carry out his instructions."

"Girly, you and the other high ups in CC better be careful, though. Second you get back, I'll bet Fan and all the others are gonna 'tak Infinite City as revenge on Prince- THEY don't know he's gone. They might already have."

I hadn't thought of that, either. God, what was I going to do without Prince? He was an idiot with an IQ lower than a slice of pie in almost everything, but being around her always made you feel smarter, more enthusiastic, and like you could do better. Not to mention that I could act more myself around him than anyone else- probably because of the secrets we share.

But I couldn't focus on that right now. He was right- they were going to attack. And our army was diminished and ravaged from fighting NPCs to get to the position we had right now- so close to the Temple of the Dictator of Life. We couldn't stand another attack. What would Prince do?

He'd encourage everyone to fight their hardest. With his golden words singing in our ears, adrenaline pumped through our veins- we were invincible in battle. But I couldn't do that. So I had to find some other way. But I was so alone without Prince. What could I do?

Odd Squad walked up to me. Wordlessly, Doll took me with her small hand and led me back to a fire, which we all sat around for the rest of the evening. Tomorrow, I'd deal with the people. Tomorrow, I'd journey back to the Central Continent somehow. Tomorrow, I'd take care of Prince's last instructions. But for tonight, Odd Squad would save me, as they had saved me so many times before.

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"The way is mine to clear and the tree is mine to cut; for you to pass through here… With. The. Hottie. You. Must. Part."

…

"Listen, Prince. I want you to dump your current wife, Lolidragon, and become _my_ husband. I'll feed you, house you, equip you, clothe you, and I'll even give you an allowance. I can give you fifty thousand gold first." **(AN: I hardly changed these lines from the story; I only cut out a sentence that's unnecessary. Why mess with the funniest thing anyone's ever read?)**

What. The. F**k.

Prince, who was standing next to me, wobbled and turned pale.

Meanwhile, everyone around us started hysterically laughing at the thought of this small thief trying to make a warrior…a trophy husband. I could barely contain myself, even with all my acting skills and poker face practice.

"Sorry, Fairsky, but I'm very happy with Lolidragon. Please look for a wife elsewhere," Prince lied. He wasn't "with me", and I'm pretty sure he'd have run away a long time ago if I wasn't A) A hidden GM with a lot of info on Second Life that he couldn't survive without B) though he's fast, I was three times as fast and finally C) A very evil manipulative person with a huge secret he needed to make sure I didn't spill. Oh, and D) Girls would maul her if I didn't masquerade as his wife, since she doesn't have much practice keeping fangirls away yet.

Wait, the technique isn't working? I've seriously underestimated either my beauty or the general female's lust for him as their hubby/boyfriend.

…Let's just say it's their lust.

So I guess he won't let me pretend to be his wife anymore. Shame, I had a lot of fun crushing those girls' self esteem by staring them down with my uber-beauty so the wolves- I mean girls wouldn't chase after my good friend Steak.

While this ran through my head, Fairsky's face was heating up; it was as red as a tomato with rage. "Fine!" she spat with fury. "You won't leave her! Boys! Kill that woman!"

They looked at each other, and I could tell they were wondering if killing such a super-ultra-hottie was a sin.

It is, by the way. Just in case anyone's wondering.

"I'll give fifty thousand gold to whoever does it!"

Of course, they all rushed to kill me _then. _Sigh, people will do anything, even sin, for money, won't they?

Prince shielded me with his body. Good, he _was_ the warrior. And this _was _all his fault. Why, you might ask? HE was the one who chose to be so handsome. I just egged him on**. (AN: We've got a case of extreme denial, here, folks…)**

One huge warrior decided to be the first to feel my wrath, and ran forward, intent on getting the handsome reward for my head. Actually, I intend on becoming a infamous thief, so I'd better get used to this, sigh…

Prince grabbed Meatbun and hurled it at seven of Fairsky's goons while using a special ability- Poisonous Meatbun. He got it by me coating him with poison and feeding him to a monster. In my defense, it was pure strategy, and not my jealousy at him having a pet…thingy…snack and me not. Anyway, Meatbun poisoned them, and Prince used the confusion to sprint at full speed to one of the goons and used an ability he'd been working on- Nine-Headed Dragon Strike. He copied it straight out of "Rurouni Kenshin" manga by fusing another of his skills "Ten Strike" and the use of "Continuous Attack" with slashing and hacking. He can attack with it ten times in a row, and combined with his growing type dao and fire damage from "Inferno Slash", it was guaranteed to wipe away any boss in the newbie zone and many players- such as this unfortunate goon. _He'll probably need that move, too, to defend herself if any lawyers from the manga come a'callin for him using a copyrighted name. Wonder if they even have those in game…_

The unfortunate goon died a painful death and flew away in a pillar of light. Poor guy…Just kidding. For attempting to kill a super-ultra-hottie, they must all go to HFIL! MWA HA HA HA HA!

Once more, I digress. So, Prince grabs a mana potion and drinks it in one gulp to fill his mana up again while all the others look on in amazement. An ELF with a DAO just took out a BEASTMAN with an AXE in one go. He then threatened, "If anyone wants to have a try against my "Nine-Headed Dragon Strike, I invite you to try!" They'd just finished healing themselves from Meatbun's lethal poison, but no one stepped forward. After seeing Prince drink the potion, they knew the first guy to try his luck against Prince would be a meat-shield. _Mmm…meat. I'm hungry…Fighting is boring…_

"To HFIL with this. Let's charge him all at once; he can't kill all of us!"

The brawl that followed was brutal. The goons were pretty tough, but we were much faster than them. Prince got a couple of hits on them, but had been dealt several small hits, too. I hadn't gotten hit, but there was nothing I could with my low attack to them. It was a stalemate, and they had the numbers advantage. And sure enough, one of them got a lucky hit on Prince, and he used another "Nine-Headed Dragon Strike" in his anger. It killed the guy, but Prince took a few more hits meanwhile. He was going to die…

_B****rds! I'm the only one who can kill Prince, what with my plan to push him under an angry, high level boss twice. Fine, I'll save you this time, kid, but better make that three times under the boss…_

I dived over, executing Chun Li's ultimate move- "H_elicopter Kick". Chun Li was a fighter from a street fighting game Prince had stolen some moves from for Second Life; he got the idea to do so after using kicks to kill the wolves necessary for him to get a vocation. She was one of the first female fighters, and the only thing good about her was her kicks. Before, we couldn't use it because you needed to go to parallel to the ground to do so- something physically impossible. But I'd modified it, and now I did a handstand while spinning with my hands on the ground. That alone wouldn't have done much, but I had hidden blades in the tips of my boots. Coated with poison. "Seven Steps Soul Scatter". Which has a HP degeneration rate of 50 HP per second, so a player would be dead in under a minute if they didn't heal themselves…Stop staring! It's a normal, none demented thing to do! _

_While the __lucky__ ones who'd gotten poisoned started searching for an antidote, I dragged Prince out of combat while he guzzled a potion. __That'll teach you to try to kill someone on my hit-list! __ Before he could drink another one, though, they charged again._

_I can't believe this. I, Lolidragon. Daughter of the President of Second Life. Hidden GM. Future infamous thief throughout all of Second Life. Partners with the only tranny in Second Life. About to be killed by a group of common thugs over a fangirl who wants Prince for a trophy husband._

_That's it, when I'm rich and infamous, I'm going to seek out each and every one of those goons and Fairsky and Corpse Camp them all!_"

As Prince and I readied our fists to begin the final battle that would inevitably end with our defeat, a voice rang out. A thunderous …, bestial roar cried, "STOP!"

On the edge of the circle the crowd had made around our fight, there stood an enormous beastman with gray fur. His huge fists looked like they could send a man to the next continent over with one blow, and his arms were as thick as my waist.

Silence filled the air. Who would want to attack the gigantic creature?

The wolf stared down at the goons with a furious, flaming glare. "SCRAM, UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE SHREDDED TO PIECES!"

At this point, I think the only thing that was keeping the thugs there was paralysis via extreme terror, but Prince apparently decided that wasn't enough, and shifted into the stance for his now infamous (in this little fight, at least) "Nine-Headed Dragon Strike" with an icy look in his eyes. This broke the spell, and they ran away faster than I could run!

But Fairsky wasn't willing to let this go… "Do you really love Lolidragon so much, to the point that no other woman could replace her?"

"I'm really sorry, Fairsky…" Prince said.

_Wait! What the heck are you apologizing for! Didn't she just almost get both of us killed! That's it, four raging bosses for our little idiotic bishie warrior._

As we walked away, Prince collapsed in a side alley. It's probably from exhaustion from the fight. We have to go buy some more health potions! My money is flying away…sob…

And then the enormous wolfman healed Prince with a mid-level priest's healing spell.

"You're a…PRIEST!" I sputtered.

"I am a beastman priest, yes," said the enormous wolf with a tinge of embarrassment.

We were all quiet for a second. Then Prince burst out laughing hysterically. "Did we seriously just use thief, an injured warrior, and a priest to scare off SIX WARRIORS! God…" he said through his guffaws.

I couldn't help it, and neither could the brave priest. We started chuckling, as much at Prince's laughter as at the situation.

But more important than that, was what this wolfman had done. _No one in the audience bothered to try to save us (they will pay for that when I track them down), but a priest, with no offensive abilities, did. That's freakin' cool._

"So, what's your name?" Prince asked with a grin on his face.

"It's…Ugly Wolf. It suits me," he said with a good-natured smile. It kinda did...But I was good at reading people in general, honestly, and I could tell in a second that the name was an open, humiliating wound for him. I felt sorry for him- or I would, at least, if he hadn't given himself that name. _Couldn't you have just given yourself a normal name, or a name from a manga like…um…Krillen? Sasuke? Usopp? Yukio? Negi? Robin? Natsu? Okay, not best examples, but still… _**(AN: If you can't get at least a few of these, PM me. You need help, and I can point you in the right direction. PLEASE, do yourself a favor.) **_But still…_

_"So, would you mind helping me back to our hotel…Wolf?" asked Prince._

_"Of course!" _

_And as we walked, she said, "We're looking for a priest, Wolf. Are you part of a team?"_

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Of course, that had been followed by Wolf forever giving up much of the regard for him the two of us had by admitting he had intended to have been a mage, but decided against it because the line was too long…*sweatdrop* But even counting his occasional wackiness and depressing- even more so than Prince- inability to recognize love, he was the rock of our team; solid and dependable. He was our strategist, and he always kept a level head. _Maybe he'd be a good lord…? NO! It's practically mutiny to even consider a new lord so soon after Prince left us, and he'd never be able to inspire everyone the way Prince did. Man, Prince' a tough act to follow…How is it humanly possible- elfly possible, I suppose- for such a scatterbrained, blood-loving, oblivious goofball to be such a good lord?_

There were so many problems with Second Life, and CC, as the leader of the war, was going to have to shoulder most of the burden of solving those. I was high up, and a lot of the work was going to fall to me. I would do my best. I wouldn't disappoint Prince.

**Soooo…finito. Thank god. I AM sorry this took so long, but some of that was outside of my control. Additionally, this was a very difficult chapter to write- I'm just not good at writing fight scenes, even if I did use basically the entire second half of the chapter as a script base. **

**If Lolidragon follows Prince's line of thought, I have two excuses:**

**The longer you're with Prince, the more his way of thinking rubs off. THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING, PEOPLE! What's going on is that our dear Loli will lose IQ points at a rate of one a day until she reaches the IQ of Prince. By the way, just a reminder: Prince IQ Pie IQ. Good luck, Lolidragon.**

**In case no one noticed, Lolidragon's line of thinking is much more vindictive. When I write this, I swear my dark side comes out.**


	4. Chapter 4

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! I WILL NO LONGER BE INCLUDING FLASHBACKS ON THE ADVICE OF A REVIEWER AND MY BETA (IF NO ONE ASKS ME TO KEEP VIA PM OR REVIEW) AFTER THIS CHAPTER! Remember, I'm writing this story for you guys as much as me, and if you want a change, tell me! If a couple of you guys like flashbacks, I'll keep them. Those of you who are taking the time to read this message, please give your opinion. Thank you! :) Please come again at Little Dragon Girl Mart!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Half Prince, wahhh…Maybe I should…um...hire the mafia to hold hostage…a….books store! Yeah! That works! And the demand ransom will be rights to Half Prince! [crosses arms in front of herself and nods self satisfactorily] Stop laughing! It'll work! Watch me! *THREE HOURS LATER, COMES LIMPING BACK IN WITH SEVERAL BULLET WOUNDS AND BROKEN PAIR OF HANDCUFFS ON WRISTS*…Didn't work…**

_So Prince's Dead, Now What? REAL. WORLD. TIME. IT HAS BEEN AWAITED, AND IT ARRIVES_

Slowly and carefully lifting the helmet off my head, I slowly raised it above me as I laid on my back, in a bed. The last of my long hair spilled out of it as I locked my arms, holding it high above me and staring at the ceiling of cracked tan paint. Suddenly, I dropped my arms down exhaustedly. The helmet fell on the floor with a bang and skidded to the corner of my bedroom. I knew I should care more about it- it WAS my job, after all- but I couldn't bring myself to just then. I stared numbly at the ceiling until hunger finally forced me from bed. I walked from the bedroom of my small suite in a rundown hotel to the kitchen. Pulling open my refrigerator, I sighed. Almost nothing. I quickly made an omelet with the last of my food. As I sat at the small table and quietly ate my breakfast, I sighed again, and then groaned for good measure... I would have to go shopping again. There were so many more important things to do, but I had little food left, as I had spent the past week doing almost nothing but designing the (failure of) ship that was supposed to take us to the Northern Continent, training, and helping design the program that killed the Dictator- and Prince.

Pushing my chair in as I stood up, I shook my head to dispel depressing thoughts. Prince wasn't really dead; just the body was. And I had things to do, meetings to arrange, and food to shop for. Walking over to my small wardrobe, I took out a short skirt and a colorful shirt and slipped them on. I used to have quite the collection of clothes, but then my father kicked me out, and let me take only a few pairs of clothes with me. _Stupid dad…_Pausing only to check my outfit in the cracked, life size mirror on the wall I sometimes practiced flirty winks, innocent smiles, and evil, menacing expressions in, I grabbed my wallet on the counter and a large basket, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and stepped out the door.** (AN: Lolidragon, do me a favor and decide on your personality…)**

Shutting it behind me, I was glad to see the sky was bright and clear, and the air smelled as fresh as it could in a city. Locking the door behind me, I strolled down the cement steps and stepped onto the sidewalk. I glared at the slightly seedy motel that was temporarily my home, and then started walking to the supermarket. One of the few good things about living where I lived was that it was very close to the supermarket. I only had to cut through a street where trendy clothes were sold (when I was rich, it was actually one of my favorite places to shop) to arrive there a few minutes later.

Twenty minutes later, I walked out of the shop, smiling. One of my favorite noodle brands was on sale, and I had bought a lot, meaning I might actually be under the budget of my miniscule paycheck for once! _Stupid dad, giving GMs such tiny paychecks…_But more importantly…_Six_ _boys flirted with me….Ah…nothing stroke your ego like cruelly rejecting boys who had worked up the nerve to talk to a clear ten out of ten, when the highest one couldn't be more than a seven. Idiots, don't you know I NEVER date anyone under a nine?_

Walking down the street of the trendy set of stores, I smiled. Then, something in the window caught my eye. A top that was rather similar to the one I was wearing, but my expert eye could tell it was much higher quality. One look at it, and any fashonista worth her wardrobe would see that. Then, my eye fell to the price tag.

_Ouch._

I physically winced and stumbled backwards at the shirt's price. With my old allowance, it would have been worth pocket change. But with my current paycheck, it was dimensions away. A few years of work would barely cover the shirt, and that would mean not spending anything at all. As much as I wanted a better wardrobe, it wasn't worth starving on the streets for. I had a credit card, true, so I could have bought it right then, but I would have been screwed when I needed to pay my next bill.

But I could walk away. Hadn't my months of living on minimum wage prepared me for this moment? Been training just for this battle of wills? Standing straight, I slowly, one step at a time, walked away. Each step was a battle, but I could do this! I would! I WOULD NOT BLOW MY LIFE SAVINGS ON A DESIGNER SHIRT!

Then, I felt my cell phone ring in my pocket. It was the only thing I had been allowed to take from my old house other than a few sets of my cheapest clothes, and I treasured it greatly. Flipping it open, I answered, "Hello?"

_This is Second Life. It is necessary for you to come over to a meeting of urgent importance with the president, GM Lolidragon._

"Okay, I'll be there soon."

The person on the other end abruptly hung up, leaving me staring at the phone in my hand with a feeling of almost sickening dread. _God, what I wouldn't give to have the rest of Odd Squad here to have my back. Not that such a group of weirdos would be much use in the cutthroat world of media entertainment..._

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I stared at the little girl in front of me. Her angelic face, the dress that practically screamed MAGICAL GIRL, the innocent eyes…_She's…a…ne_c_romancer? Afraid of her own skeletons? Why are Prince and I a magnet for the undeniably odd? _

_ "_You're a NECROMANCER? Running from your OWN SKELTONS?" asked Prince, obviously as shocked as Wolf and I were.

"HEY! A necromancer is a noble profession! Necromancers unveil death's mysteries! And we know so much about bodies that our real forte is medicine!" Here, Doll looked shyly at the ground. "And those skeletons were scary! All that flame and the bones…Wah!"

"What did you do, memorize 'The Eye of the Soul'?" I asked.

Doll blushed and stamped one small foot. "Doll is much different than THAT necromancer. Doll is *ahem*". Here, she started twirling her wand and spun around like some sort of ballerina…that happened to command the minions of hell. "For love and justice! I am the pretty necromancer, Doll! Evil, beware! In the place of the skeletons, Doll will punish you!" She finished in the Sailor Moon routine with something stolen straight from a magical girl manga (you know, one of those with irritatingly long scenes where they change to magical girl form).

"…"

I was shocked speechless. I mean, if you saw a girl seriously do that, would you really be able to speak again for a while? Prince, in her (relatively small, but still there) sanity, also couldn't say more than a murmured, "What the…"

However, Wolf chose that time to show his true colors. "What level are you?"

NO! NO! You're the backbone of this team, Wolf! I, the dazzlingly lovely uber-beauty Lolidragon might be the most knowledgeable, and Prince might be the eye candy/fighter, but Wolf is the strategist and the backbone! We can't lose him to the dark clutches of insanity.

Meanwhile, Doll was boasting about her level, which was roughly the same as ours. Then, he asked her to summon her skeletons. Once again, I lost control. I couldn't help it! They're so…SCARY! 

So, I did the natural thing. I once again started using my _Dismantle Bones _ability to, neatly and methodically, rip skeletons apart…limb by limb, literally. Behind me, I saw from the corner of my eyes Prince picking up the broken bones to sell. IDIOT! HAVEN'T I TAUGHT HIM ANYTHING? THE BONES ARE PLAYER'S BONES, SO THEY'LL DISAPPEAR! And there are skeletons to destroy, anyway…He should be helping me!

As I rampaged…er…proceeded to attack the minions, I saw my friends- and the evil Doll- talking. Then, to further my own torture, she summoned MORE skeletons! I cracked my knuckles and went to work.

"Lolidragon, don't-"

"OWWW! THAT HURT!" I whimpered, as I snatched my hand away from the flaming skeletons, my eyes watering. While my lips said, "OW!", I distracted myself with the time-honored strategy of cursing with every curse I know, in every language I know mentally. _Up to ten…twenty…thirty…shoot! Only forty curses before I ran out. _Resolving to learn more curses, I suddenly realized Doll was in front of me, wailing and blubbering apologies. _What the…?_

In explanation, Prince said, "Doll says she idolizes you because you have such a profound understanding of the deads' souls.

_Once again, what the…?_

Wait. Is the world going crazy? Did Wolf just suggest that the crazy necromancer girl join us? Not only does she summon EVIL SKELETONS, not only is she insane, but what with Prince and mine's fighting style combined with her lifting everything she does from a book or manga, we'll have lawyers coming for us from every side! WE CAN'T DO THIS IF WE DON'T WANT TO GET ARRESTED, PEOPLE! But I was busy sucking on my burnt fingers to ease the pain, so I couldn't say squat. Meanwhile, the now-insane Wolf was trying to rationalize his twisted logic.

"Don't you see?" he asked us. "Doll's a pretty good necromancer, and we need another fighter. He's strong, but he can't fight and protect me-the priest- and the mage we'll find soon all at once."

_Yeah, but if we want a necromancer, can't we find a sane, non-skeleton summoning one? Plus, please remind me why a two meter tall wolfman who can send three skeletons flying with a single kick needs freakin' PROTECTION!?_

Meanwhile, the demon Doll started acting sickingly cutesy and sweet, squeaking, "I wanna follow Big Sis Lolidragon!"

The adorable and adoring worshipping look she was staring at me with sent a chill down my spine.

And worst of all, my dear FRIENDS PRINCE and WOLF voted her in, along with herself. Prince didn't vote, but he might as well have. _Bastard! If you'd voted with me, we would've been tied! I would've had at least a CHANCE of her not being on my team!_

As Prince darted forward to start attacking skeletons with the help of the demon Doll's skeletons (which looked indescribably weird), Doll snatched Meatbun away and started playing with it. I surveyed the members of our group from behind Wolf's safe back- SHUT UP! Those skeletons are scary, and Wolf will get mad at me if I try to disassemble the demon Doll's skeletons- and cursed them, only stopping the constant gush of words every now and then to throw a knife at those SKELETONS! And occasionally Prince…Stop staring at me! I was REALLY pissed at him! Besides, it's not like I coated those knives with poison…Okay, maybe just a little….

Then, I saw Wolf get a funny look on his face as he watched Doll play with Meatbun in between his spells. Walking over to her, despite my begging for the meatshield- I mean priest, to stay put he picked up a stray bone and handed it to her.

"Doll, do you want to play a game with Meatbun?" he asked gently, the way you would talk to a three year old.

"Yeah! What is it?" Doll said, not insulted in the least.

"See, you stand like this, and I toss Meatbun at you, and you hit him as hard as you can at one of your scary skeletons, like this…"

WHACK!

"Okay, your turn!"

Doll proceeded to display baseball moves that would have shamed Major Leaguers, drawing praise from Wolf and getting a new skill- "Double Kill"- for Meatbun (as Meatbun would bounce between two skeletons like a pinball); how many wacky skills must this pet meat bun get?

"Good posture, Doll," Wolf stated, in a coach-like manner.

"I like this game, and Meatbun does, too!" chirped demon Doll, as she proceeded to once again turn Meatbun into an unholy cross between a baseball, a pinball, and a living meat bun.

_What is wrong with this picture_? I thought.

As I watched Meatbun to proceed to innocently destroy skeleton after skeleton, I realized that since it was DOLL'S skeletons he was destroying, Meatbun's reputation was taking hit after hit. _If he actually gets a higher bounty than me, I will brutally murder that pet, and add to my bloody saga of pet deaths._

Soon, even Prince was getting into it, batting Meatbun with his Black Dao's sheath and using the adorable bun of meat to assist in killing two-headed giants.

It didn't take long for us to get a freakin' awesome method of taking down mobs going, allowing us to level up several times and take down some really enemies. First, Prince would use the bun's _Aroma Release _to get mobs to come after us as Wolf buffed me up with nearly every spell he knew. _Good! I'd sneak "Seven Steps Soul Scatter" into their food and laugh at them as they die if any of them let me die. Or better yet, just start keeping an official "How Many Times I'm Going to Push Every Person I Know Under an Angry Boss" record. _Anyway, as the mob came over, I'd sneak attack those suckers so they'd all focus on me. _Stupid teammates, making me risk gorgeous life and limb for them; better be grateful…_Doll and Wolf would play a game of baseball with the unfortunate Meatbun, reducing their life greatly. Then, Doll and Prince would go massacre the last of them. _I almost feel sorry for them…but I don't! Stupid monsters, chasing after me. And besides, we've all leveled a few times so far; soon we shall go forth and steal from all of Second Life! With my expertise and speed, and my team as cannon fodder…er…assistants- yeah, that works!- we can't fail. MWA HA HA HA HA! _

In the morning of the day I was planning to introduce my fabulous idea to my team, though, something happened. As I, as usual, got some mobs to run after me. Performing my usual thirty-second-running-check, I glanced behind me and noticed something weird. A leopard faced guy was slowly catching up to me. Frowning, I cranked up my speed; he matched it and continued closing the gap. Now, I started panicking a little. I started running at maximum speed towards Prince and the rest of Odd Squad. _Someone! Help! Demon Doll! Summon skeletons! Wolf! Speed me up with a spell! _But Leopard Face was too fast. He finally caught up, and pounced.

"AGHHH-" I screamed, eyes watering with pain as he tore my back with his claws; then his weight pushed me down and cut off my screams. The rest of the mob finally caught up. The last thing I saw before I was swallowed by a sea of monsters was my team, still running towards me, with shock and horror on their faces… 

Walking out of the rebirth point, I swallowed hard, trying to swallow the feeling of disgust that inevitably comes with in-game death. I blocked PMs for a few minutes and sat down at the base of a tree, hidden in its shadow, and closed my eyes.

After dozing for about half an hour, I PMed Wolf. He was logged off. So was the demon Doll. Finally, I PMed Prince, "What are you doing right now?"

The last thing I expected was for him to say, "I met a super hottie! And he's fallen for me!" I could practically hear the cries of _FINALLY! _in her mind. Running toward the town square, I quickly found a huge crowd. In the center was a scene straight out of what would have been my worst nightmare, if Prince and I were truly dating. _I'M being cheated on? For another GUY?! Well, at least he's hot…Hmph…_

Then I realized the tiny little problem with this scenario.

"…um…Prince…does he know you're a girl?"

Prince's eyes widened slightly. Then, slowly, carefully, he said, "You do know I'm a guy…right?"

I could practically see the idiot's eyes screaming _Say no! Say no! Say you thought I was a girl!_

Sorry, girl. Time you learned this universe's cruel reality: All the best guys are taken or gay.

And then this crap came out of his mouth: "Of course I know. You exude such a spirited aura, how could I mistake you for a feeble little girl?" Then he actually HUGGED her. "Men are the best. With muscles as firm as these… It feels _soooo_ much better than hugging those soft, squishy girls!"

Insulted as I was, I pulled a vial of Seven Steps Soul Scatter out of my pocket, and saw other girls amongst the crowd similarly arming themselves. But Prince beat us all to it…_Jerk…_

A pillar of white light soared high into the sky…

Odd Squad met up later, in a tavern. Wolf chastised, "Was it really necessary to kill him with a _Nine Headed Dragon Strike_?"

Biting into a leg of chicken as if it owed him money- a LOT of money- Prince responded, "The jerk is lucky that I didn't Corpse Camp him!"

Right after the battle, Wolf and demon Doll had logged back on. We met up in a tavern, and I proceeded to tell the hilarious events of the past hour.

Finally, though, Wolf broached the topic of the reason for our deaths, and the atmosphere instantly sobered.

"That guy was a mid-level boss," said our priest. "We might not have been able to win, but we definitely shouldn't have all died. If we'd had a person who could attack from a distance, we could have helped Lolidragon get back to us, and averted this entire disaster."

"So we need an archer or a mage," I said.

Wolf agreed, "Definitely. And we should probably get both. An archer who could attack from far away and a mage with powerful attacks that take a long time to prepare would be best, I think."

"So what are waiting for? Let's go get some new teammates at the Adventurers' Guild!" I said. Wolf agreed, and we departed, eager to finally get some normal, non-demonic, sane teammates.

The adventurer's guild was just as glorious as it had been in the planning stages that I'd seen. _Good. _It was huge, with large, arching windows. Today, however, people seemed to be paying more attention to us and our recruiting sign than architecture. As soon as they saw the sign, they approached. Enormous crowds of people crowded, baying for a chance to be on the same team as an ultra-beauty, the highest-quality eye candy you'll ever hope to find, and- surprisingly- that angelic little girl. MWA HA HA HA HA!

Meanwhile, Prince hid behind Wolf. _Wimp! Are you supposed to be the big, strong warrior?_ I thought as I hid with him.

…

What!? I'm a thief! It's okay for ME. And no one in that crowd of thousands is higher than a six. I can tell these things. I even saw a ONE…shudder…

Doll also hid. _Why are the people who are supposed to be brave, or tough, or fearless- like warriors and necromancers- hiding behind a PRIEST!? Granted, the priest in question in Wolf, but still…_

Meanwhile, with just one command, our priest had every person in military rows. He turned his back on them briefly, allowing himself a brief chuckle. I suppose that's how he missed a few people fainting in terror. Then he turned back around, and for a second, I swear that he was channeling every scary military general in every war movie anyone has ever seen.

"All right! Everyone, I'll interview you one by one!" said Wolf in that same scary, commanding voice.

That probably would have been enough, but I think he was getting into it, because…

"And any more fainting and you will wake up in the bottom of a dungeon, alone, in front of a raging boss monster!"

Guess he did see them faint. Wait, weren't raging bosses MY preferred method of revenge? Wolf, you just bought yourself another time being pushed under one. Knowing Wolf, though, he'd probably just beat it up…

Many enjoyable hours later that were spent shopping, eating, and watching a bunch of archers and mages be terrorized and possibly traumatized by a two-meter-tall wolfman. _Ahhhh, life is good…_I thought, listening to the screams of "Sir yes sir!" and "I want my mommy!" with a serene smile on my face.

Eventually, Wolf showed us his selections. The only problem was, there were hundreds!

"Wolf, we need ONE archer and ONE mage," I said with a shaking voice, concentrating all my effort on not pulling out the vial of Seven Steps Soul Scatter in my pocket and throwing it right into his face. _Teammate, trying to stay off wanted list, teammate, trying to stay of wanted list…AGH!_

Just as I started to retrieve the deadly vial, Wolf said, "Can't be helped. Everyone here is pretty talented, experienced, and meets all the qualifications. How am I supposed to decide?"

As Wolf narrowed his eyebrows and thought, muttering to himself, Prince whispered, "Most of the people are just here to be on the same team as one of us. We should probably tell them about our relationship."

_Damn straight! No one gets Prince without going through me. And to get through me, you need to be a ten. As for me, if you're under ten and don't have wads of cash, get lost!_

Cupping my hands around my mouth for maximum volume, I bellowed, "By the way, the eye candy and I are married. If you're after one of us, scram! Or Wolf will come after you!" Prince blushed slightly at my description of him, but honestly, he's one of us beautiful people now. The horror. DEAL.

Meanwhile, you could actually see the dust clouds as all but fifty or so players left. _I don't know if I was hoping it would be more or less effective. It would have been fun to see everyone desert, but we need at least a few people._

Unfortunately, the people left seemed only intent on dating the Demon Doll. I don't think I'd wish her on anyone, so I started to tell people what they were getting themselves into, but Prince beat me to the chase.

"This little girl is my sister, by the way" she said, her smile exuding rays of friendliness as her hand shifted to the handle of the razor-sharp dao strapped to her waist. Honestly, sometimes I wondered if it was he or Wolf that was scarier, because the last of the people left, leaving behind only a sonic boom. _Wonder if that broke any Second Life records, _I thought lazily.

"It's too bad we didn't find anyone, but we don't want jerks like them anyway," I pointed out. I'd seen enough people in real life who only cared about a pretty face; I wasn't going to be with them in Second Life if I could help it. Agreeing with me, everyone decided to go grind.

Now, what happened next made me question my, and our party's as a whole, sanity. Because we started using the _same technique _to hunt mobs. You know, the one that just got everyone on our team killed? Efficient or not, it wasn't smart. But twenty-twenty hindsight…

What happened was that we went to go battle zombies. They were strong, but so slow I could walk and still outrun them. We hoped this would keep me safe.

And then, a zombie started sprinting after me.

_DAMN IT ALL! _I screamed mentally, running away. Hearing Wolf warn me that this must be the Zombie King. "HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" I cried. _Prince, we can't make a legend if we get killed every time we try to fight mobs; COME SAVE ME! Wolf, where's your super-kick when I need it? I'd even take Demon Doll's help! _

As the zombie drew closer, I reverted to my usual method of cursing in every language I can mentally. _Done with Chinese, Korean, Japanese, English, Spanish…I'll do Danish next! _

Prince cried that they were coming, but I couldn't risk slowing even a little. I was barely maintaining the gap between the Zombie King and I as it was.

We didn't have an archer, we didn't have mage. Sighing, I mentally resigned myself to my fate…as I mentally resigned myself to up the tally for every one of my DEAR BELOVED teammates being pushed under a raging boss by a couple. _I was the one who wanted to go train in the forests! But noooooo, we had to train against zombies! For my own safety, they said. Yup, I'm so very safe. Jerks._

And then I heard the voice of the second of the three who would make up my entertainment for the next few months…as the most hilarious romantic comedy love triangle of all time. Gui. And, right in character, his first act as Person Pretending To Be Gay But Really Falls In Love was to save his beloved's party member, private dictionary of Second Life, and best friend. _See, this is why I think romance can be useful. _

"Supersonic Soul-Chasing Arrow," stated a quiet and musical voice with a strum of musical strings.

Suddenly, I heard the sounds of conversation a while off. I saw the Zombie King was now charging at my party. Prince seemed to be conversing with Gui. He had a harsh look on his face I didn't think I'd ever seen before, which was all the more odd compare to the beatific smile on a man's face…which could only be described as bishie, I saw, as I jogged forward for a closer look. Long, dark hair, sharp purple eyes…demon ears? And he's a bard? Whatever, he pulls them off. The result was a man rivaling Prince in handsomeness, and seeing this, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of fury combined with killing intent in my heart…_Okay, I know I laughed mentally at Prince for wanting the gay demon to fall for him, but know that I take a good look at him …_I actually started considering killing him, just for the "If I can't have him, neither can you!" rule.

…Though that ranks pretty high on the scale of obsessive-possessiveness…

Of course, this was before I figured out that Gui was gay, and then later figured out he was- well…whatever you call it when you fall in love with an in-game tranny. People really need to start inventing more specific terms…

As I was preoccupied with my thoughts, Prince started attacking. He pulled out all the stops- Nine-Headed Dragon Strikes, Meatbun attacks…Meanwhile, the Demon Doll sent forward flaming skeletons that helped batter down the Zombie King's HP a little, but mostly just acted as cannon fodder for Prince. Wolf healed and buffed. But with just one warrior, there was no way we could pull this off. Meanwhile, there wasn't much I could do even if I got in close enough to start helping. The Zombie King's speed, much as I hated to admit it, was equal to mine, and its strength dimensions above mine.

_Damn! I never thought I'd feel so helpless in a game. Maybe I should have given Prince some of my money after we all got wiped out so he could buy better equipment. If he goes, that would be bad enough, but so would the rest of us!_

When I had basically assigned myself a mental noose around my neck, the hot demon bard started singing in a soothing voice that would probably be just as lethal as Prince's looks on the general female population. He strummed his guquin, too, and finished with the words "Sheng-Ge Entrancement Technique," starting an ability.

Suddenly, the Zombie King slowed dramatically. Meanwhile, Prince's attacks became more vicious as he saw the opening and took advantage full force. _Looks like it's safe for me to come back into the fight!_

Dancing around the Zombie King with agility that was suddenly dimensions above its own, I gleefully assisted Prince in avenging my almost-death…though I did slice a few times with my toe-blades. I decided to ignore the fact that I was mentally gloating over a collection of pixels, and enjoy the victory that finally came after three of my "Fatal Blows", and just as many "Nine-Headed Dragon Strikes". The Zombie King turned into some loot, which we distributed equally. Then Prince said, "Let's keep leveling up. We still have plenty of time before we have to wake up."

Later, I preferred to believe that he said that over some sense of foreboding for what happened next.

"Could you join our team?" asked Wolf, smiling a beastly smile at the mysterious bard, who, to his credit, didn't wince.

"Thank you for saving me," I added, topping it with my special smile that I use when I want to give every girl in the room a dip in self-confidence, or to get a date so I can save money on food.

"NO!" shouted Prince.

Wolf looked at Prince with an odd expression. "But can't you see? We need someone like him." He looked at the demon. "What did you say your name was?"

"Guiliastes," he said with a bow. "But if you wish, you may call me Gui." He gave a small smile, then turned his head to gaze at Prince lovingly.

"Okay, thanks. Well, Gui hear can use support magic for when we need something on top of my buffs, AND he solves the distance problem. We would have lost without him! It would be stupid for us NOT to ask Gui to join us." Gui blushed faintly from the praise.

I decided to speed this up a little, and intensify the look of mounting horror. "C'mon Prince, we need him! Just give in, it will all be okay." This time, I used the look I used when I was a young teenager, and winning people over with (false) innocence still worked for me. Though Prince didn't seem to be buying it…

"No! Lolidragon, the guy's a pervert? Didn't we start finding teammates to protect me from the wolves in the first place?" asked Prince with barely-contained and rapidly-mounting hysteria. I knew he now no longer just meant the girls going after the delicious Prince/Steak, but basically anyone now. But I could see a loophole in this…

Barely able to hold back a flood of giggles, I said "You're right," with a solemn face. "Gui, do you swear you won't do anything...bad…to Prince?"

With an offended and horrified face, Gui cried, "Of course not! Guiliastes know his beautiful, noble is for looking only, not touching. He gazed warmly at Prince once more. Prince reacted with a look of utter terror, and scrambled to hide behind Demon Doll's small figure. She dodged away from him, and as he looked at her, begging with such strong puppy dog eyes that I almost wanted to give him a lollipop, she chirped, "Sure!" This only reinforced my slowly but surely growing theory that the Demon Doll was one of those evil people who hide it behind an adorable face. To sum it up, a "Cute Psycho".

And so we finally found the fifth member of our group (who was supposed to be an archer or a mage): Guiliastes the- faking- gay demon bard.

…My team is a freak show, isn't it? Well, at least it is an amusing one.

Speaking of which, Gui and Prince walked off, Gui spouting mushy sentences of everlasting love and devotion, which Prince responded to with (soon to be carried out) threats to Gui's health, which only became more sadistic as the conversation, if you could call it that, continued, and Prince lost his patience. And the rest of his sanity. 

I chuckled, watching Prince. The whole reason I'd been so supportive of Gui joining was so I could watch Prince being mentally tortured, of course! I needed revenge for him voting the demonic Doll on our team, right? And, as stated, romance is useful. I could already picture numerous situations I could manipulate either one of the two participating in this one-sided love into. Prince would be Gui's bait, and giving Prince information about Gui or vica versa- though Prince would probably want to know just so he could get away from the guy- could be used as excellent leverage.

_My motto: Keep people who are interesting close. And keep as much blackmail and deal-leverage as you can on them. You know, just in case._

Days later, we gained the final member of Odd Squad. _We decided to call ourselves that because of the people on our team. Really, it doesn't require much thought work that out._

We had just been defeated in a close battle between our party and another, Dark Emperor, mainly because of our lack of a mage. Afterwards, we met up at the inn and started talking. We were going to get sweet, sweet revenge if it was the last thing we did…and we decided to use the upcoming Adventurers' Tournament, a huge event that would pit teams against teams to find the strongest, as our tool. And if we won, we would get a piece of land! It was the perfect plan. The only way it could fail was if we lost.

But if we won…

"Prince," I PMed, "We could be publically humiliated if we do this, but this is the first shot we've had so far at making a legend! Who knows when our next chance will come? And you need a lot more than being a top player to make a legend, you know."

"Yeah. I could have trained alone if I wanted to be top player. But now, I think it's more important to create a legend of myself by myself, but create it working with everyone."

Despite the solid hold I had my emotions, I couldn't help it. A brief smile slipped onto my face. And together, the entire team of Odd Squad swore we would create an epic story of us in Second Life- our legend.

There was just one problem.

"But there are only five of us, right?" Doll pointed out in a rare moment of sense. "Don't we need another member?"

Deciding to let the fact that the most naïve one of our numbers was the one who pointed this out, we jumped on the issue. The demonic Doll was right.

"We still need a mage," stated Wolf. "We were at a huge disadvantage without one against Dark Emperor. We have to find one, pronto."

Everyone agreed, but I could sense an undercurrent of apprehension in Wolf, Prince, and I. Whenever we went searching for a class, we found someone completely different. That we still accepted into our team anyway. This time, we would probably find something like a ninja bird, or assassin holyman. Why was it so hard to find a normal mage!? Gui suggested beginning our search at the Adventurers' Guild.

Needless to say, he couldn't have dragged us there without having to drag our cold, dead bodies. Though you turn into pillars of light here, so even that wouldn't work I guess.

Trying to figure out how to find a mage, I didn't even hear the sweet, kind voice until she was right in front of us. An elegantly beautiful human woman was in front of us, asking, "Um…You are looking for a mage, right? I did not mean to eavesdrop, but I was just over there…" she trailed off, staring nervously at first me, then Prince, then Wolf. Her eyes hovered there, and I was impressed at her ability to not burst out laughing upon seeing an enormous wolfman in priest robes sitting in a booth with a group of people ranging from cute to super eye candy to uber-gorgeous.

Ripping her eyes from Wolf, she quietly said, "Um…I'm Yu Lian. I am a mage, and I am level thirty eight. I have a primary element of fire. Secondary of earth. And, um…that's it…" she trailed off once more, her eyes unable to keep from darting back to Wolf.

But the thing was- THIS GIRL LOOKED NORMAL. SHE HAD AN ORDINARY CLASS AND RACE. AND SHE WANTED TO JOIN ODD SQUAD.

Really, how could this be happening? Not that I was complaining. This would finally dis-prove the theory that was slowly being confirmed with mounting horror that I was a freak magnet. But I had to check.

"You're a girl?" I asked quickly, staring at her chest. _Hm…looks normal. _

Switching her gaze from Wolf to me, she looked at me with arched eyebrows.

"Yes…"

Prince asked, with a look on his face that reminded me of a college professor of mine who enjoyed reprimanding his students, "And you like men? Not girls?" He gestured to me. _Leave me out of this!_

"Yes…" she said, eyes returning to Wolf. I was starting to get an inkling of something, but I couldn't be right. No, I had to have faith in her.

"You like love and justice?" asked Doll, her face shining with the same expression she had when she did her Sailor Moon routine when we first met her.

"..?"

A good sign of her sanity. Good indeed.

Glaring anxiously at Yu Lian, Gui said, "You must not take the beautiful and noble Prince!" Prince promptly kicked him out of the inn, and then sat back down with a righteous look on his face. He was starting to remind me scarily of myself.

Solemnly, Wolf asked, "So why do you want to join us, then?"

Flushing slightly, she said with deep admiration, "I am very envious of the camaraderie you have. So far, I thought I did not want to join a team, but I think I would like a lot to be in yours."

The flush fed slightly the growing notion of ANOTHER reason to join, but I clamped down on the thought. _No! Bad mind! Bad! _

As I hypnotized myself back into a stat of air-headedness using my favorite method (staring at Prince's face without blinking) the rest of my team looked at Yu Lian with shock. She really seemed so normal.

Prince whispered with no small amount of awe, "Do…we really have…a normal member?

Wolf grilled her a bit on her spells, then introduced her to the rest of Odd Squad. We immediately headed to the valley, eager to see what would result of our new addition.

Sure enough, there no end to the benefits of mages. The speed of defeating enemies doubled, and our injuries dropped considerably. Watching Yu Lian charcoaling mob after mob, I allowed the faint suspicion I had to drop.

That is, until they came back stronger than ever…

"It's been tough, Yu Lian, but you're doing great!" exclaimed Wolf cheerfully, patting her on the back with a hairy paw the size of a baseball mitt.

"No," she said quietly, blushing scarlet red. "It's my job, I mean…"

As Prince celebrated once more the addition of a normal teammate, I was deep in thought. Was she _really _normal? How could it be?

When I absentmindedly shot down Gui's idea of Prince being normal- I mean, don't make me laugh!- it all came together. He appeared normal, but wasn't.

"Doll is absolutely normal, too!" she chirped with her usual cheerful smile that sent shivers down my spine.

…Doll, same goes for you as Prince.

"Actually, you guys are all wrong," I said with triumph. I was rarely the first to figure something out. Usually that was Wolf, or occasionally Gui. Which was strange, actually, because Gui didn't seem like the intelligent type. _One mystery at a time, Loli. You can figure this thing out with Gui later._

"See, there's no way a girl could remain unaffected by the looks of either of you two, our resident eye candy," I said matter-of-factly, pointing at Gui and Prince. "At first, I thought she joined partly because of the reason that she said, and the other 99% because of you two. But she's barely talked to either of you. She's always talking to Wolf," I finished.

When all of us looked at her, it was obvious that she was blushing, and pulling off rather well the small, cute smile ten out of ten experienced heartbreakers will recommend you talk to guys with. _I'm proud of her, though I question her taste._

And that was the issue. Her taste.

Dragging Yu Lian over from a startled Wolf, I shoved the super-handsome faces of Gui and Prince in front of her.

"Do you think Gui's face is handsome?" I asked directly.

Taken aback, she slowly said, "Gui…looks very…neat! Yes, that is it," she said. Her expression was that of one who was trying her best to compliment a mother on her baby's cuteness, though the baby was really hideous.

Needless, to say, it took everything I had not to burst out laughing.

"And Prince?"

Smiling kindly, with a small amount if pity, Yu Lian patted Prince on the head. This time, it looked like how a kindergarten teacher would treat a child who just drew a picture, of whose quality was about typical for kindergarten students.

It was almost too much, but I asked, with great caution, "What about Wolf?"

Turning the approximate color of a tomato, she said in a whisper, "He is qu-quite unique, and so mature and composed!" She sounded like a fangirl gushing over her favorite singer. "And his fur is such a handsome silver," she finished, looking attentively at Wolf's messy gray fur.

We have struck gold, people!

"Isn't he masculine and handsome?" Yu Lian asked rhetorically, staring at him with a reddened, blissful face. Suddenly, as if remembering Prince and Gui, she turned back to them. With a mixture of pity and forced encouragement, she said, "You both have looks that…some girl will definitely like! I know it. They say, no matter how ugly or stupid or…" she trailed off as she realized what she was implying. Then she came back stronger than ever "…there is a soul mate for everyone. You guys are nice people, so don't give up." All of this, once more, was said with a sympathizing, encouraging tone.

Serenely, I stated, "I knew it. It's impossible for Odd Squad to get a normal person."

I managed to hold the serious face for about three seconds, and then broke down into hysterical laughter in front of the confused faces of my party, and the oblivious one of Doll.

Why? Not only was the entire situation absurd, I just realized what my finished party consisted of. We had a huge, enormously powerful wolfman priest who kept secretly funneling his skill points into making himself stronger (who was Prince's university nurse in real life), an adorable angel necromancer obsessed with Sailor Moon who was afraid of the skeletons she summoned (and we would later find was a princess in real life), an extraordinarily gorgeous and bloodthirsty elf warrior who is the game's one and only tranny, an uber-beautiful elf thief who was the (currently disowned) daughter of the President of Second Life, a handsome demon bard who pretended to be gay for kicks (who we would later find was a genius and one of Prince's university teachers in real life), and a human mage with the most twisted perception of beauty available and the scariest smile in Second Life (who we would later find was sent to our team to keep an eye on the demonic necromancer princess ).

We were Odd Squad, definitely. Though at that moment, with my bizzarre teammates all around me, I couldn't see what was so bad about that.

P

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I tucked away my phone, done reminiscing. But my hand shook as I pocketed it, and no wonder. If you had a meeting with my father, anything could happen. I gave myself three seconds to calm down, and spent the time gazing once more at the shirt in the window, memorizing it. Then I readied myself to take the bus ride to my Second Life's headquarters. I blinked once, bracing myself to keep walking away…

…and found myself standing outside the store, with a shopping bag with the designer shirt in it.

Huh?

I checked again. Yes, it was definitely the shirt. With mounting horror, I reached inside and pulled out a receipt. That I had signed. That was wrapped around my credit card.

I was screwed.

_Hold on, _I told myself. _You can just go in and return this. No big deal. _

Walking into the store, I asked the lady at the register, "Could I return this, please?"

"I'm sorry, our store has a no-return policy," she said, giving me an odd look as she pointed at a sign right above her head saying just that.

_Okay, big deal._

Screaming, I ran out of the clothes shop, all the way to my motel room. I threw the accursed shopping bag with the shirt on my bed, the shopping bags with the food onto the counter.

I took ten deep, cleansing breaths, screamed a little more, and then took more breaths.

_Enough. I have to go to Headquarters._

Walking back into my bedroom, I slowly and carefully pulled out the shirt from the bag, slowly and carefully replaced the shirt I was wearing with the designer, slowly and carefully checked my appearance in the mirror, and slowly and carefully tore the freakin' receipt into tiny pieces.

_Deep breaths. _

I would wear this shirt, I decided, to show my dad I could survive fine without him. Even though this shirt had cost me my life savings. And then some. Oh well, HE didn't know that. Steeling myself, I left my motel room, already mentally tracing the route to Headquarters and trying to puzzle out why they had asked me to come.

**For information on my absence and return, please visit my profile.**


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